The most devastating moment in Theresa’s life came in February 2022, when Child Protective Services removed all three of her children. Theresa was left facing the hollow, empty feeling that would haunt her for months.
“I remember the lonesome and empty and hollow feeling that I had without them,” Theresa recalls. “Even though I get frustrated and overwhelmed at times because I have three little boys who are absolutely crazy” she chuckles, “I remember that feeling and remember my life is nothing without them.”
The Weight of Single Motherhood
Even before her children were removed, Theresa had been carrying the weight of motherhood largely alone. While technically with her children’s father, “he was in and out, in and out, in and out,” she explains. “Looking back on it, I’ve been a single mom for longer than I’ve cared to admit, because he wasn’t there.”
This reality bred a dangerous independence. “Being a single mom like that, you develop an ‘I don’t need anybody to help me. I can do this on my own’ mentality,” Theresa reflects. “Which is pride, and it’s stupid, because it wasn’t the case.”
That pride nearly cost her everything. Despite struggling with addiction, Theresa continued to tell herself and others that she could manage alone, but never managed to get better alone.
The Turning Point
The breakthrough came when Theresa finally admitted the truth to counselors at an intensive outpatient program in Yolo County. “I told them, ‘Of course I’m using. Of course I am. I can’t stop,’” she remembers.
Instead of judgment, she found support. “They sat down and called Walter’s House and helped me get in the first time,” she says. “It was nice to be able to admit to somebody who wasn’t judging me, who didn’t really have any ulterior motives to hurt me in any way. They were literally there just to help.”
Still, it took time. Theresa’s first attempt at rehabilitation lasted only 45 days before she was asked to leave. Three more months passed before she found the strength to try again in 2023, this time completing 129 days of treatment.
The Road Home
After completing rehabilitation, Theresa came to Paul’s Place, where Supportive Services Coordinator Harmony Scopazzi became her advocate and guide. The relationship transformed Theresa’s understanding of what help could look like.
Harmony helped Theresa navigate the complex process of family reunification, attending court dates and advocating for services. When the family court heard that Theresa was living at Paul’s Place, “they were like, ‘Oh, yes, yes, yes, that’s very good.’ They already have a reputation of being outstanding.”
The breakthrough came when DCMH helped Theresa secure housing, so her children could come home. Theresa could finally focus on rebuilding her relationship with her children.
Learning to Mother Again
Reunification wasn’t just about getting her children back; it was about learning who she wanted to be as a mother. “This place has given me the opportunity to learn who I am as a person and who I want to be as a mom,” Theresa reflects.
Part of that growth involved accepting help and building community. At Paul’s Place, Theresa met another mother in recovery, Mitzi, and they formed a friendship that has become like family. “We didn’t know that we needed it,” Theresa says of their bond. “Our kids love each other, love me, I love them. It’s just a huge wonderful family.”
This support system has been crucial for both women, who continue to support each other as single mothers in recovery.
Teaching Compassion
One of Theresa’s most intentional parenting choices involves teaching her children empathy for others experiencing homelessness and addiction. Growing up, she remembers being “scared of homeless people” because she “had no idea what addiction was or alcoholism or homelessness or mental health.”
Now, when her eight-year-old sees someone holding a sign saying they’re hungry, he’ll suggest giving them money. “If I have a dollar, I’ll give it to them, or I’ll let my son hand it to them,” Theresa explains.
“I think it’s important to teach my kids compassion because they’re the products of two addicts,” she says. “The statistics say that one of my kids will most likely become an addict. If I can open their eyes to not being judgmental, to having kindness and compassion and empathy… that’s important to pass on to my children.”
Standing Strong
Today, Theresa is proud of the boundaries she’s established and the independence she’s built. “I used to fear being lonely without a significant other. I’m actually okay with it just being me and my boys,” she shares.
This strength allows her to make decisions based on what’s best for her children. Her children keep her motivated. “My kids keep me grounded because I know that I have to remind myself what it feels like to not have them,” Theresa says. That memory, the “lonesome and empty and hollow feeling” serves as a powerful reminder of what she could lose if she returns to old patterns.
A Future of Service
Theresa is now pursuing education in counseling, with plans to work with parents who have CPS cases. “I want to help advocate for them the way that Harmony helped advocate for me,” she explains.
Her goal is to work in residential treatment or at places like Paul’s Place, helping people understand “that they had a fighting chance of getting their children back.” She knows firsthand how that hope can change everything.
The Power of Comprehensive Support
Theresa’s successful family reunification demonstrates the power of Davis Community Meals and Housing’s comprehensive approach. From stable housing to case management, from court advocacy to ongoing support, DCMH provided the wraparound services that made it possible for Theresa to reclaim her role as a mother.
“If it wasn’t for this place, my kids would have never come home,” Theresa states. “They say they saved my life, they reunited my children with me.”
Today, Theresa lives independently with her children, pursuing her education and giving back to others. Her journey from that hollow, empty feeling to a full, purposeful life as a mother demonstrates that with the right support, families can heal and thrive.
“There’s still hope,” Theresa says. And through the comprehensive services at Davis Community Meals and Housing, that hope becomes reality for families throughout our community.
Davis Community Meals and Housing provides family reunification support, case management, and transitional housing services. If you know a family that could benefit from our services, please contact Paul’s Place at (530)756-4008. Your donation helps keep families together, learn more at https://daviscommunitymeals.org/.